PLEASE HELP! Looking for Critiques and Suggestions on my MFA self-assessment essay

I have completed the first draft of my MFA self-assessment essay for Columbia College Chicago...almost I cannot think of an ending sentence that will allow me to end with a BANG, or a "Wow, how philosophical we certainly need to accept this girl!"

I am calling for your help for suggestions and critiques. This is very important to me and I would appreciate any constructive input...in other words don't just tell me it's bad, tell me what I may do to improve it or what would be an awesome ending.

Again I remind you of the requirements for the essay:
1)2 single space pages (I have about two lines left)
2)Discuss reading and writing background
3)Why do I want to study fiction at Columbia College Chicago and Professional Goals
4)Story about self
5)MA/MFA goals in terms of teaching writing

And Now Here is my essay thus far:

I do not think I am being overdramatic when I say that if someone were to take all the writing supplies out of the world and make it so I could never write again, I would die. How long can a person live without air? I think I heard somewhere it’s about three minutes. Well, without writing it would probably be about three minutes until I fell over dead. Since I learned to write it has not only been my emotional crutch, but it has also been an involuntary impulse and a part of my life that is as natural as breathing.

Just ask my mother if you do not believe me, she’s the one who taught me how to write. We lived in Canton, Michigan on Longfellow drive, which was parallel to Whitman Rd and adjacent to Lowell Street. I am not talking metaphorically, all the streets in my neighborhood were named after poets. There was also a Whittier, Marlowe and Rand, the perfect streets to birth a writer. My mother was a teacher and her kids’ education took priority. She taught my brother and me how to write by our letters off flashcards. Before Kindergarten, I could identify and write every letter in the alphabet. Writing stories is how I would entertain myself, while my mother cleaned the house or cooked dinner. Only, even though I could write every letter in the alphabet, I had no idea how to sound words out yet, so I would constantly be shouting, “MOM! How do you spell….?” with every word I tried to write. Our house echoed with me shouting every two seconds. “MOM! How do you spell ONE?!” And then…“MOM! How do you spell DAY?!” Until I had written my entire story.

It did not come as a shock when my mother signed me up for story time at the local library, probably for some peace and quiet around the house. One story in particular was about a lonely brown bear at the zoo. He kept finding different colors of paint and painting himself with them at night, so the zoo’s visitors would crowd around him the next day, keeping away the bear’s loneliness. The librarian illustrated the story with a plastic bear container, pouring food coloring inside the bear to make him change the color he did in the story. At the end of the story, the bear became a little greedy and wanted to make himself brighter and more beautiful than ever. The naturally brown bear tried to paint himself with all of the colors but, all the colors mixed together just made the brown bear brown again. The next day, the brown bear had more visitors than he remembered ever having before, proving once and for all that the best and brightest color was his natural color all along.

I tell you about the brown bear because I tried on many different colors throughout my life career wise. Kindergarten through twelfth grade, I wanted to be a ballerina or scientist. After that in college at Eastern Michigan University, I studied to be an English or Communications teacher. I soon dropped that cmajor, after a magical study abroad trip in Italy, where I had transformed into an art history major. I was all set to graduate at the end of my fourth year in winter two-thousand-and-seven, when I was up late one night writing in my journal. When the words “I do not want to be an art historian” came out on the page. I stopped writing and was taken aback a moment. “What do you want to do then?” was the next line that came out of my pen. Looking around at all the journals I had filled, all the stories saved on my computer and the desk drawer that contained the manual script I was currently working on, the only response I could think of was “The brown bear is brightest and most beautiful when the brown bear is brown.” Writing was something I had always done regardless and I wanted to be a writer. I tore up all the graduation paperwork and hung the cap and gown in the closet to wait. I stayed at Eastern Michigan University a fifth year to study nothing but creative writing.

That last year at Eastern, I looked forward to my writing workshop classes where we analyzed and discussed the different factors of what makes a good story. I met a lot of uniquely brilliant classmates and professors that allowed me to examine my writing in ways I had not thought about before. However, at the end of the year I was left unsatisfied with my education. I knew there had to be more conclusions to draw about the factors of a great story that I had yet to discover and learn. My writing education could not end there. I waved happily as I walked across the stage at graduation when I received my bachelors, but I knew one day I would move on to earn my Masters of Fine Arts in Fiction Writing. The new problem was I began to drown in all the different application possibilities of graduate school.

Out of college, I worked odds and end jobs at coffee shops and libraries, but often found I was unhappy because these jobs lacked meaning. On my days off, I would work on my writing and find books to read that would improve my craft or help me get toward publication. I came across a book entitled Get Known Before the Book Deal by Christina Katz. She suggested I volunteer at community centers as a writing teacher and go to as many writing conferences as I could, the idea being that the more people heard of you, the more likely you are to get published. It turns out these were the best two pieces of advice I could ever be given, because they led to two very life changing experiences.

The first experience happened when I started volunteering at a non-profit literary center for children 6-18 called 826Michigan. There were a variety of programs this center ran such as after school tutoring, writing workshops and field trips, where classes would come and write a collaborative story at 826Michigan. I started by helping with the writing workshops and the field trips, but that soon changed. One day, when I was helping with a field trip of second graders, we let the students break off individually, so they could each write their own ending to the story that up until this point they had written together. I saw one little boy, Bradley, with his head down on the desk crying. I knelt down next to him. “What’s the matter, Bradley?” I asked. “I don’t know how to write.” He cried. I paused for a moment. His mother did not teach him his letters like mine did? “Why don’t you tell me what you want to say, and I’ll write it for you today?” He perked up and nodded. “I gotta lot of ideas!” Then, Bradley went on chattering about robotic mermaids and spiral spaceships. I wrote as he talked his little heart out. I was able to discuss the different elements of a story with him and his face that was dripping with tears just a half hour ago was glowing now. It was a very rewarding experience and the first meaningful thing I felt I had done since graduation. I told him at the end of our session that if he wanted we had after school tutoring where he could learn to write if he wanted too and I would even work with him. “Okay.” He agreed brightly, but unfortunately I never saw Bradley again. However, that is how I became an after school tutor at 826Michigan and began enjoying working with students of all ages on their writing. I would like to be able to work with more students in the future in order to discuss what makes great writing, because even though it is something that can be considered subjective, I believe there are specific elements that can be agreed upon and therefore need to be discovered.

The second experience was what led me to believe that Columbia College Chicago is the proper school for me. This summer, I attended the Interlochen Writers Retreat and took a four day journal and sketch course taught by Patricia McNair and Philip Hartigan. This writing retreat was one of the most happily freeing experiences I had since graduation. Patty and Philip mentioned that they taught at Columbia College Chicago and I figured that if the courses at Columbia were anything like the course that Patty and Philip taught at Interlochen, than earning my MFA/MA there would be tremendously wonderful. I also learned that Christina Katz the successful author who led me to these experiences earned her MFA/MA at Columbia College and I also took that as a sign to apply to Columbia.

My entire life, since my mother taught me my letters. Writing has been an impulse and I will always be a writer. Earning my MFA/MA would be the next best step for me to explore more about the elements of a great story and learn how to teach them.

Hello Eastern Echo...I just want to write something...

My, my, blogging quite a bit lately...but it's necessary because my writing career is growing little by little.

Today, I visited the Eastern Echo's office. As a current graduate student of public administration I realized that I could legally write for the school paper to add on to my writer's experience. They were happy to see me because apparently they need both news and life writers. I told them I was more interested in writing feature pieces on art and they accepted that.

I have to write three training pieces before I can officially be considered staff. I have my first assignment to write about the Riverside Arts Center "On the Wild Side" Exhibit and with it my first deadline, which is later than most deadlines because the exhibit isn't up yet. I must e-mail he life editor my piece by October 4th and then she will edit it and I have to make my revisions within the next twenty-four hours...wowzah!

It's actually very exciting stuff and I am completely thrilled to be doing some kind of professional writing. It's just in my blood something I have to do.

An easy question I don't know how to answer....Why I Write?

As mentioned before after the writing conference and the conversation with Margo Raab after driving her to the airport I have decided that what I really want is to continue studying writing by earning an MFA and possibly MA in fiction writing.

In life every idea comes from somewhere. It was taking a class from teachers at Columbia College Chicago at the Interlochen Writers Retreat 2010 that made Columbia College the first application I am filling out and sending off. I have completed filling out the basic contact information, transcripts, and sat down today with the intent of writing my self-assessment essay. most colleges require them, even undergraduate and I've probably written about ten similar essays in my life. Each time I always feel like the boyfriend being interrogated by his girlfriend's father asking the question "So what are your intentions?" Columbia College has requested the following information:

1) Discuss Reading and Writing Background

2)Why you want to study fiction at Columbia College Chicago? What are your professional goals? (See there's the intention question!)

3)Tell us a story about yourself

4) Upon earning your MA what are your goals in terms of teaching at the secondary or college level? (Intentions again! Goals and intentions--one in the same when talking about graduate school)

In my mind this means that the perfect essay to be accepted will be a clever and entertaining piece of creative nonfiction that coincidentally touches base on all of these questions perfectly, but in that case I feel as though I have to pinpoint the very moment I became a writer or answer what should be THE EASIEST QUESTION IN THE WORLD: WHY DO YOU WRITE?

I cannot think of a moment or illustrate when I became a writer because it was never a conscience decision, it was something I always did once I knew how...can a person just be born with the impulse to write?

But the truth is...I don't remember when it started. I remember my mom had these flashcards that taught my brother and me our letters and we learned to write the letters from these cards, but then we couldn't spell and I can still picture the little girl I was sitting at the dining room table trying to write a story without knowing how to spell anything. I would scream to my mom who was usually in the kitchen washing dishes..."MOM! How do you spell..." with every single word I would want to write. So I would shout "How do you spell...ONE?" then "How do you spell...DAY?" It had to be the teacher inside of her that tolerated it, thinking about how her sweet little girl was becoming literate one step at a time.

Now that's a story about how I learned to write, but it doesn't explain my intentions for Columbia College really. I could add on and continue by talking about when that little girl who shouted "MOM! How do you spell...?" all the time grew into her kindergarten nightgown and socks. Rubbing the sleepiness away from her eyes sat at that same kitchen table, but this time she knew how to spell...well not every word, but she was at least learning how to sound the words out. She would be hugging a stuffed animal of choice for the morning, usually her glow worm-but sometimes a teddy- and she would say "What kind of adventures are you going to get yourself into today?" And since her and the glow worm could go no where she would write down everything she imagined would happen to the stuffed animal.

These stories about me learning to write are still not everything I need them to be, I wish I had one solitary story about why I write, so as far as the essay goes I'll have to be stumped for now. In the meantime, here is a list of reasons I could think about my impulse to write:

1)"I really had no choice but to be a writer." -Tennesee Williams
2)"When One is nothing, One invents. It fills a void." -Diane Setterfield
3) Writing is a natural to me as breathing and I do not think I am being too over dramatic when I say that if someone took all the paper, pens and computers and made it so I could never write again I would fall over dead.
4)Writing relaxes me when stressed
5)Writing Energizes me when I'm tired
6)When put in writing things either get dramatically better or dramatically worse
7)There are so many stories in life that need to be told
8)There are so many things we imagine to be true that we can only make happen within the writing world
9)There are aspects of life we fear are true that shouldn't be and we can only triumph over them with the written word.
10)It's entertaining to say what you need to say on paper and have a million people read it, when no one would listen to you tell them.

I wish this essay was as easy as the one I wrote to get into library school, but the truth is it's not because there is not a single story or a single moment that can truly illustrate why I write. I just do it because I have too, and I always will regardless of who reads it or publishes it or if those two things never happen.

Best Advice to become a Writer: Persistence

I volunteered at an adult writing conference with 826Michigan this weekend. I was able to sit in on a short story workshop with Jack Driscoll, a novel writing workshop with Barbra Shoup and a lecture entitled: How to plot a novel (or at least attempt to)? told by Margo Raab. I also had the pleasure of driving Margo Raab to the airport Sunday morning, and I must say she is a delightful person.

All three teachers gave great advice that tied together so well I thought that they had collaborated with each other, but it turns out they didn't and in the tricks of the publishing trade they have faced the same challenges. I think the three of them are so lucky, I would love to make a living as a writer. All three of them said the same thing, becoming a writer is all about persistence.

Margo Raab even connected finding the right places to publish your work and finding an agent that you trust is kinda like dating to find a mate...oh great I hope I'm better at dating for business than for finding a husband for myself. She shared her process of writing a novel, which sounded excellent, though in my opinion there are two types of writers, those who plan and know exactly what they are going to write and those who write as they go along. Margo Raab is certainly a plan before you start writing kind gal. She calls it "coffee shop time" where you go into a coffee shop and try to see the whole novel go through your head like a movie and simply take notes on it, then go back and write it down. I have tried both methods, write as you go and planning before starting. I think that I would get more accomplished if I used Margo Raab's method, but when I was a little kid I NEVER planned out a story ahead of time unless the teacher made me.

Rabb said one of the best ways to write a novel is to know your ending and then start the beginning at the opposite point, this especially will work for mysteries. That is a writing exercise I am not going to let pass me by, because when you think about it most great stories end exactly at the opposite of the beginning. So I guess another good exercise may be to start with a beginning and end at the opposite. She gave 20 general guidelines to writing a novel, which I am not sure I am allowed to post without getting sued...just know it was a very well though through workshop.

Barbara Shoup had similar advice when critiquing people's novels she said "Begin as close to the end as possible," which makes since because if people know what is going to happen within the novel, they'll want to know the rest of the plot as to how the character got to the point they end up in at the end.

A comment from Jack Driscoll's workshop that really stuck with me was when he said "really it's not about reading at all, but it's about seduction." Meaning a writer has to entice the reader to continue to read, they have to like it so you want them to want more. It is so true, I mean isn't that why it is important to put twists within our stories. I've been told that Jack teaches at Interlochen and I wonder if he was at the writers retreat this summer, but I just cannot remember.

So of course there is nothing like a writer's retreat/conference to see people who are living my dream of a published novelist and inspiring me to try and make it happen again. I've started applying to graduate school MFA programs, there is no saying an MFA will get me anywhere that I am not now, but it would be a great excuse to do nothing but write for at least a few years and immerse myself in my dreams a bit longer. The challenges I have come across in applying for MFA programs is #1 I have no confidence in my writing ability right now and I'm really nervous and #2 still screwed when it comes to letters of recommendation since most of my creative writing teachers have left Eastern or do not respond to my requests for a letter of recommendation, but it's got to be possible somehow eventually.

On the ride to the airport Margo Raab told me that it's hard because once she was on an MFA college admission board and it's so subjective what the different people favor. She went to the University of Arizona and it does not sound like she has had much struggle becoming a writer to be honest I don't know if she ever thought about or made a living any other way. Although, once she submitted a piece to the Atlanta Review and they rejected it, only for her to submit it again and have it win first place in the same magazine that had rejected it.

I do not think I will be happy without earning my MFA so here's to hoping I get over the whole nightmarish letter of recommendation nonsense. Also, I would have to find a way to pay for it...Margo Raab had a fellowship, but honestly I read one of her short stories last night, I googled it and it was really good, made me think about how I need to write more in hopes or producing some more amazing stuff.

So tonight, I did accomplish some things as a writer. I wrote a new short story entitled: A Selkie's Lost Love. I am taking the tale of a Selkie and scrabbling it up to match however I feel about love at the time which means I took this Selkie and had her sitting on the shore where no one wanted her skin, which makes her powerless, a very rare thing for a Selkie. The story then trails back to a man who truly loved her and therefore refused to hide her skin from her, meaning she lost him because a Selkie's skin is supposed to be more important than any love she will find, but this Selkie doubts her decision now, but it's too late...don't worry I'm working on the bitterness thing I promise.

When I felt a lull in working on that I remembered what all of the writer's at the conference kept saying about persistence and so I decided to send out as many e-mail submissions as I could find off my submission list. Of course, I still did not get through the whole thing and I was being lazy and only doing e-mail submissions. I ended up sending about ten submissions out total, but while doing so I continued to realize I need to work a bit harder on having more work to choose from to submit. If ever I found a publication where I did not have a piece to fit into it, I went ahead and made a list of prompts.

Finding time to write is going to be a challenge because I just took a full-time job at the library, but hopefully there will be a lot of downtime to work on writing. However, I also am stupidly working on my non-profit management degree, which I am hoping will lead me to a job with a hours at a normal time that also carries meaning. I want to eventually become a grant writer I decided...so I probably should have just taken a grant writing course, but we all know we need to open more options up in this economy and it's something to do while I look for an MFA program. So, I will work, do homework, apply to MFA programs and write on my spare time, I get tired just thinking about all I need to do, but it's gotta be done. After all as I heard many times this week the key to being a writer is persistence...and we all know that persistence is hard work.